It can be really frustrating when you want to move but your partner doesn’t even want to hear about it. It’s normal to have minor disagreements in a relationship but your loved one’s refusal to move out with you is a serious issue that has the potential to cause a lot of damage.
As things stand, you’re likely to have a critically important reason to want to move away from where you are now: a great job in another part of the country, a unique chance to be closer to your family and friends, an area in the country with much more favorable climatic conditions for you, or an ideal retirement destination waiting for just you.
And to make things even more complicated and painful, you do feel like this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for and if you don’t move out soon enough, you’ll never have another good chance to do it.
But there’s one big obstacle along the way – your significant other refuses to join you. He or she won’t move with you for reasons of their own and it’s pretty obvious that you’ve reached an impasse – a tricky situation in which no progress can be made simply because none of you is willing to make a compromise in order to break the deadlock.
Don’t despair! You’re not out of good options yet simply because there are several smart things you can do to try to convince your partner that moving out is the right decision.
So, how to get your partner to move with you? These 5 tactics should help.
1. Wait for the right time to talk with your partner
The very first tactic to get your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend to agree to move with you may seem a bit silly to you in the beginning. However, what you have to understand is that timing is extremely important in all aspects of life.
Here’s the thing: get the timing right and many doors that seem firmly shut can suddenly open for you. Therefore, you should never underestimate the power of timing when you want to convince your partner to move with you to wherever it is that you wish to end up.
Here are a few things you should consider when you’re looking for the right time to discuss the issue with your significant other:
An open conversation with your partner can convince them that moving is the right thing to do.
Look for a time when none of you will be stressed out, tired, or hungry. Generally speaking, the weekend is usually a good time to bring up the issue since neither of you will have had a long and exhausting day at work.
Wait for a time when you and your partner will be entirely on your own, preferably chatting after a meal or relaxing on the living room couch in front of the TV.
Don’t make the mistake of trying to convince your partner to move out in a group setting – that is, when there are other people with you. Such a tactic could rarely work well simply because your loved one is likely to get defensive or even angry at you for having involved other people in the matter.
Bring up the important issue when both of you are in a good mood simply because that will give you a slight advantage when you’re listing all the benefits that the move will bring for both of you.
Be smart when choosing the right timing to talk with your partner and you will have a good chance of making them see the entire situation through your eyes. If you sense that things are not going well due to a poorly judged timing, then you’d better stop and try again at another time.
Keep in mind that you may only have one shot to convince your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend to move with you to another place.
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2. Discuss with your partner the advantages of moving out
You want to move but your partner doesn’t want to move with you. Now, this is a big problem because you strongly feel that moving away is the only option for you.
Trying to impose your will on the person you love will rarely work – remember that they must have a good reason to want to stay where they are. So, the best thing you can do under the circumstances is to make them see all the positives you will both gain by moving.
In other words, you’d better focus on the clear advantages of moving out if you want to have any chance of convincing your partner to move together with you:
a better job or career advancement;
lower cost of living and a chance to save money;
increased financial stability;
a safer environment to live in, including for raising children;
a larger home;
a reputable school district;
a chance to spend more time with family and friends;
a healthier area with cleaner air and water;
a more favorable climate, and more.
While trying to convince your partner to move with you, your best bet is to be completely honest with them and to talk about the issue openly. Remember that you’re not trying to force them to agree with you – instead, all you should really be doing is making them see that moving away is the best thing for both of you.
Be a good negotiator. Instead of talking only about what YOU want, talk about the things that will be best for BOTH OF YOU. In other words, concentrate on the WE pronoun the way the best negotiators in the world do. Talk about your future together and discuss again your shared dreams in order to have a fighting chance of success.
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3. Hear out your partner’s arguments and show empathy
When you want something too much, you tend to convince yourself that you’re right and anyone else who doesn’t agree with you is wrong.
Listen. Listen very closely.
In this case, you want to move out but your partner doesn’t. Therefore, the chances are that you’ll automatically assume that you’re right and he or she is wrong. And as you may or may not suspect, such a questionable assumption won’t help your cause too much.
You want to move to another city, to another state, or even to another country but your spouse or partner refuses to do so. Now it’s time to understand the main reason for their persistent refusal.
Listen to what your significant other has to say as to why they don’t wish to relocate. It may be a single major reason, or there may be a few good reasons for them to oppose the move. Either way, it’s time to just listen attentively to what they have to say about it all, without arguing and without interrupting.
In order to really understand why your partner is so reluctant to move out, you’ll have to really listen. Is it possible that you could have failed to see some obvious disadvantages of the move you want so much?
It can be extremely hard to be objective when you really want to do something, but what you have to keep in mind is that your best chance to get what you wish is to show empathy toward your partner. The moment they see that you’re trying to understand them, you’re really trying to place yourself in their place, then things may suddenly turn in your favor.
There’s got to be something that’s holding your partner back – their current job, their friends, or maybe even the climate of the area. Could it be the fear of the unknown? Or maybe they don’t wish to deal with change once again.
Showing empathy is not only your way of proving that you’re not selfish but it’s also the only path that can lead to a peaceful solution that’ll work best for both of you.
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4. Look for a mutually beneficial compromise
If neither of you is willing to change your mind after an open discussion about the pros and cons of moving house at that particular point in time, then it seems like the only option for salvation is to reach a mutually beneficial compromise.
When you and your spouse, or partner, appear to be in total disagreement over the house move, then your last chance is to look for a good compromise that will save your relationship. Remember that both of you will have to sacrifice something in order to make it work. If only one of you is willing to make a sacrifice in the name of your future together, then things won’t usually end well for either side.
One possible compromise is to decide to move temporarily (if it’s even a viable option) and see how you feel after a pre-determined period of time – usually a few months’ time. After the trial run, the plan is to assess the situation carefully in an attempt to figure out whether or not the move was the right thing to do.
If you and your partner feel happier after the trial run is complete, then it’ll be the ultimate proof that you were right all along. However, should you both feel miserable and regretful of the decision to move out, then maybe you can move back to the old place to honor the original compromise deal.
The thing is that what you think will happen and what will actually happen after the move can be two different things. Right now you feel that moving away is the only solution for you and it might be so, but there’s no way to know for sure until you find yourself at the intended destination place and see for yourself.
5. Assure your partner you’ll have a smooth move
A house move can be an extremely stressful affair and that’s why most people are not really thrilled when it’s time to start preparing for a move. The mere thought of having to sort out and pack up all belongings is enough to stress people out, often causing them to toss and turn all night.
Professional movers will take the weight off your shoulders.
One of the reasons why your partner may be reluctant to move can be the enormous hassle that comes with relocating to another place. In addition to all the time required to prepare adequately to move out, a house move can be rather expensive too, especially when no moving budget is created from the beginning to monitor and control all move-related expenses.
Time, money, stress… It’s no wonder why your spouse or partner does not share your strong enthusiasm to move out. Luckily, as long as you manage to play your cards right, you should be able to convince your spouse to move out with you. How?
Assure your partner that you’ll have a problem-free move, and then prove that you’re a person of your word.
How you manage your own time will determine just how successful the house move will be. There are many tasks to complete when moving to another home and that’s why a detailed to-do list will enable you to increase your efficiency by not wasting any precious time during the preparation period.
Also, a successful move is one where you spend as little money as possible by keeping moving costs within a reasonable and acceptable limit. Employ smart techniques to save money when moving across the country and your partner is likely to agree to follow you to wherever it is that you wish to go.
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Ultimately, the only way to ensure a smooth house move from start to finish is to hire one of the best moving companies in your area. Get free quotes from licensed, experienced, and top-rated movers that will protect and transport your valuable possessions without any stress or hassle.
The post How to Convince Your Partner to Move With You: 5 Tactics That Work appeared first on The Moving Blog.
